A Grief Observed
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: When they lose a member of the team, how do they spend their first night without them? Series.
1. Tony For Gibbs

AN: Will be a series if you would like

AN: Will be a series if you would like. Stemmed from "Last Words" series. This would be what each team member would do the night after they lose a member of the team. For example, I will start with the loss of Gibbs, and submit a story describing what I think each character would do the night of the day they lost him. After getting through each member, I'd move on to another character death and etc…

Please let me know your thoughts.

* * *

Anthony DiNozzo tried to slip the key into the lock four times before finally succeeding. He resisted the urge to slam his door shut and closed it softly. He tossed his bag under his front table and set his keys down. So far everything he'd done was routine, but he knew with everything in him, this night would be anything but that. He blinked his eyes furiously to try and lessen the blurriness the tears had caused. He swallowed hard and stood in the middle of his apartment, unsure of what came next. He started towards his bedroom and stopped. He started towards the kitchen and stopped. He started towards the laundry room and stopped.

"What's next boss?" He looked up and slowly let his hand hang low. "What now?"

And in the silence of that apartment, all that could be heard were the quiet sobs of a lost Anthony DiNozzo. What seemed like minutes had turned into hours and he finally made a choice. He turned around, lifted his bag from under the table, and grabbed his keys.

* * *

He tossed his bag beside his desk and placed his keys in the top drawer. He switched on his desk light and sat down slowly. He looked across the office at the darkness that surrounded him. He then retrieved his keys and slipped the smallest one into the drawer to his right. He pulled out the stacks of medals, grabbed his bag, and switched out his light. He then slowly paced over to the now empty desk across from him…

He set his bag down, un-holstered his weapon and placed it in the top drawer. He put the medals down and opened each of them one by one, lining them up across the front of the desk. He switched on the light and the tears in his eyes reflected off the medals…

He then reached for a few files and a pen. There was work to do. And Tony somehow felt that Gibbs would've been pleased. As he worked the remainder of that night, all he could think about was the next morning, and the one after that. He only hoped that he would somehow make Leroy Jethro Gibbs proud.


	2. Ducky For Gibbs

Donald Mallard stood at the elevator doors and watched them open and close. He turned back into autopsy and slowly removed his coat and hat. Part of him wanted to run home to his mother and the other wanted to stay close to his friend. He pulled a chair up beside the occupied table and sighed.

"Seems leaving you here tonight was harder than I thought it would be Jethro." He reached for his handkerchief and gripped it tight in his hand. "I suppose now would be a bad time to tell you of the surprise birthday party Abigail was planning for you. No, I thought not….but I can tell you, that when I heard the news of losing you earlier today, I realized the last time we talked that you insisted on not making a big fuss over the whole thing. Well now, you can rest assured that won't be a problem." He wiped a few lone tears that had began to blur his vision a bit and took in a deep labored breath. "Oh Jethro, how is it we are to move on from this? How will Abigail? How shall I?" He let his head fall into his hands and wept for a few moments. "You know, I haven't felt this awful since…well…ever my dear boy. And though it may seem trite, not even when I lost my own Father…I'm not sure what that says about our relationship, but I loved you very much…and really am quite scared of what this will do to me…and quite frankly to all of us…"

Donald Mallard spent the remainder of that night, along side his friend. Reminiscing old stories and sharing ones he'd never had the chance to. He often found himself stopping periodically to cry and sometimes even to smile. Jethro was gone, but this was one night, Donald Mallard would remember as long as he lived. The final night that he shared alone with his dear friend, in a cold and quiet autopsy room.

The room that their friendship held so many memories. The room they shared stories, and smiles and sadness. The room they ultimately said their goodbyes. One with silence, the other with stories…


	3. McGee for Gibbs

Timothy McGee arrived outside his apartment building and threw his car into park. He turned over the engine and slowly undid his seat belt before staring out into the street for a few moments. It looked like rain. He watched and listened to the rain drops as they fell on his windshield, and couldn't help but sigh. He hadn't seen rain like this since…Kate.

He set down the umbrella in his hand and let his forehead lay on the steering wheel as he processed the events of the day. He found himself shedding tears along with the sky and fought the urge to wipe them away. As he cried he wondered what would become of this dreary night…would he write? Would he engulf himself in some mindless computer game? Would he simply remember him?

He wiped away his tears, slipped the key back into the ignition and allowed the windshield wipers to clap along with the pangs in his heart. He drove cautiously to his destination and elected not to use his umbrella as he approached the familiar door step. He let himself in and looked around at the dark and silent apartment. "Abby?" He received no response but followed the muffled sounds of cries that emanated from the basement steps. He sat down slowly beside her and noticed the picture frame that she clung tight to her chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and she let her face hide in the curve of his neck as she wept.

It was then he knew, he was right where he needed to be.


	4. Ziva For Gibbs

Ziva David slipped on her orange cap and stared at her reflection in the mirror for a few moments. She noticed the redness that covered her eyes and took in a long labored breath before reaching for the door and closing it tight behind her.

The path she decided to take that night was longer than most she'd ever tried before. The rain came down hard, but it didn't slow her pace the slightest bit. She pushed through her fatigue and ran, and ran and ran. Only to run some more. Her shoes were water logged and it felt like she was lifting two bricks with each stride, but no physical pain mattered tonight. All that ached when she finally came to a stop; was her heart. She knelt down slowly at her destination and looked up into the sky to let the rain wash away her tears. She slipped off her cap and laid it at Gibbs doorstep. Perhaps it was true, perhaps any person she loved, she lost…


	5. Abby For Gibbs

Abby Scuito sat huddled in the corner of her lab the night she heard the news. She had unplugged her phones and her very own lay feet from her in pieces. She locked and barricaded the door. Nothing and no one could bring her comfort. Her lab was an eerie quiet and it seemed like time stopped as she continued her cries. She clung to her stuffed animal for dear life and stared feverishly at Gibbs photo on the plasma. It was three hours and two tissue boxes later when she finally stood up at the sound of pounding on her lab door.

"Go away McGee."

She didn't wait for a response and reached for the last tissue box she had left. She paced backed into the corner and huddled herself into it once more. She composed herself for a few seconds, and tried to calm her sobs. "I'm not gonna be okay Gibbs…I'm not gonna be okay, you know that?" She spoke upwards as if she was alerting the proverbial heavenlies with her plight. "Why'd you go?"

She wasn't able to stay composed for long and allowed her sobs to continue until she no longer had the energy. She found herself curled up on the floor, her trusty hippo as her pillow. When the team finally burrowed their way through the door, all they could hear were the quiet whimpers of a tired, lost and broken forensic scientist…


	6. Jen For Gibbs

The Director wandered around her office catching up on paper work, when the ache in her heart became overwhelming. The scotch wasn't helping, and neither was the depressing reports she kept reading. She finally grabbed her coat and told Cynthia to only call her on her cell if it was an emergency. And Cynthia knew instinctively that she would only call if World War III was breaking out.

She sat in her car for a few moments before deciding to fight the rain storm and reach her destination. The place where the front door was always open, literally. She paced down the steps into the warm basement and let the water from her coat drip onto the dry saw dust that covered the floor.

"Thought for sure you'd finish this one Jethro…" She paced over and reached for some sand paper. She brushed it over the edges of the wood a few times before her emotions over took her. And more so then the water that now fell on the saw dust were her own tears.

She continued to sand throughout the night, and for once didn't care how dirty her expensive business suit got. She imagined him there with her a few times and kicked herself for never letting that become a reality.

It wasn't long before morning came, and funeral arrangements needed to be finalized. She went into his bedroom and threw on a change of clothes. An old NIS sweatshirt and a dark red pair of marine sweat pants; that would forever remind her of that night, and the smell of wet saw dust…


	7. Cynthia For Gibbs

Cynthia fumbled around with some paper clips after taking her eye off the phone for what seemed like hours. She hated being the bearer of bad news, but figured it came with territory. And more so than her concern for the Director's reaction, she felt her own bit of grief. She realized she would miss Gibb's bursting through her office and the odd way he made her feel appreciated. She never told anyone about the one time he'd brought her coffee; even if he did say the coffee shop messed up his order. She somehow knew that wasn't the case.

As she pondered how her own boss was spending the night, she decided to do what she did best to channel her grief. She picked up the phone and began to dial. Funeral and flower arrangements had to be made. After all, Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was a good man…despite his matter of fact defiance of authority. As she made phone call after phone call, she couldn't help but replay their interactions in her mind, and found herself smiling more often that night, than any night she could remember.


	8. Palmer For Gibbs

Palmer wasn't sure what possessed him to end up at his mentor's door step. But before he knew what it was, he found his hand knocking on his door once, then twice, then three times. When the door opened slowly, he couldn't help but look towards the ground, his eyes unable to look into the sadness he knew would be there.

"Mister Palmer, it's nearly 4am…"

Jimmy fumbled with his reply. "Yes, I uh, I know Doctor…I just uh…I just thought maybe you'd…"

Ducky stepped aside and allowed him in. "Come in out of the rain, I'll put on some tea…"

Jimmy sat down near the coffee table in the living room, and noticed the scattered photographs and albums in front of him. He picked up one and managed a short smile.

"That was at the department Fourth of July picnic…Gibbs dunked me about twelve times…he had a great arm." After setting down the tray, he took the picture and smiled. "Ah yes, a great arm indeed." He laughed softly, and then allowed it to turn into a frown. "I believe that's the first smile I've shown all night Mister Palmer."

Jimmy said nothing and only reached for another photo. "And this one?"

"At Abigail's surprise birthday party…she made him wear a party hat, no matter how much he hated it…and to be honest, I know he obliged just to make her happy…"

"Sounds like he was a really great guy behind all that marine stuff huh?"

Ducky sighed as he took a sip of his tea and allowed for a lone tear to fall, as he stared relentlessly at the photo. "You have no idea _how_ great my dear boy, you have no idea how great…"


	9. Gibbs For Tony

Leroy Jethro Gibbs stumbled down his basement steps and found himself face to face with the floor. The liquor had numbed most of his senses so no pain came. He brought himself up to both knees and let his head hang low. He listened to the silence and decided it was time to break it. He then allowed himself to cry harder than he had since he lost his family. The only difference was this time, he wasn't holding a gun. But this time, the same thoughts ran through his mind. What could he have done to stop it? What kind of life Tony would've had? Just like before, he tried to shove the thoughts to the back of his mind and work on his boat. But this wasn't Shannon, this wasn't Kelly, this wasn't Kate…it was Tony. And it hurt.

He got up from his knees slowly and paced over to his work table. He took out the familiar tape recorder and listened to his daughter's music. He found himself playing the notes on the wood with his fingers, and trying to remember her face. But every time he closed his eyes, he saw Tony. He saw him the first day they'd met. He saw him the first time he head slapped him. He saw him the day he'd saved his life on that pier. He then decided closing his eyes wasn't an option. He reached for his phone and tossed it aside; then reached for the lone bottle of liquor he had stashed away. He poured himself a cup, and wandered over to the half finished wood pile in front of him.

"Planned on finishing this one DiNozzo." He slurred through the phrase, and took a big gulp from the cup in his hand before tossing it towards the ground in pieces. The sound of the cup breaking almost comforted him as he grabbed a few tools and attempted to work. It wasn't long before the hammer in his hand turned into a weapon as he used all his strength to tear the boat apart.

The next morning he awoke in the middle of his basement, his hands clinging to the hammer across his chest. He didn't remember much about that night, but all that mattered now was facing the day…


	10. Ducky For Tony

Donald Mallard slipped into his kitchen after seeing his mother to bed, and began to put on some tea. He gave one last attempt at calling Gibbs to check on him, but it was unsuccessful. He set the phone down and sat solemnly in his study peering out the window. His gut was churning as his mind flashed to Tony's frame lying on the autopsy table over and over. He shook his head in an attempt to blur away the thoughts and decided making tea wasn't his best option. He paced back into the kitchen and turned it off, only to retrieve a bottle of thirty year old scotch he was saving for a special occasion. He slipped it into his bag and left his home quietly.

* * *

When the autopsy doors slid open, he stopped and stared for a few moments, unsure of himself. But like it was with most his decisions, he was stubborn, and took to pouring his glass of scotch just like he'd envisioned during the drive there. He lifted up the sheet that covered his friend, and took in a long breath.

"Here's to the times we laughed, the times we grieved and the times we saw justice served Anthony. I was saving this scotch for a special occasion; I only hoped it was going to be a joyous one. But perhaps, death isn't as grievous as we make it out to be; perhaps we should see it more as a new beginning more so than the bitter end. I shall miss you my dear boy... Alas, ashes and ashes and dust to dust my friend. Enjoy the hereafter, and do give a kiss to Kate for me, I miss her so." He lifted the glass and took a slow savoring sip. "Until we meet again Anthony."


	11. McGee For Tony

Timothy McGee set his things down and immediately sat at his typewriter in hope of solace. He started to type and remembered the recent night Tony had visited him, and how badly he wanted him to go. But tonight he'd give anything to open his door and see him standing there. As he continued his typing he realized something was missing. Something Tony would've enjoyed. He got up for a moment, turned on his record player and sat back down. After a few minutes he removed a page and read its contents along with the music…

_Where do you go when your luck runs out?_

_Where do you go?_

_Where do you go when you're down?_

_Where do you go when you feel like crying?_

_Where do you go?_

_Where do you go when you're down?_

It wasn't long before his tears seeped through the page and blurred the ink. It wasn't long before the sound of the shredder joined the sounds of jazz and weeping. And it wasn't long before all of those sounds serenaded together with the falling rain…


	12. Abby For Tony

Abby Scuito curled her self up on a few covers she'd laid out on her lab floor, with trusty Bert as her pillow. For a while she tried to imagine Tony coming through the door and spouting off an order from Gibbs or commenting on her clothing choice for the day. She quickly stopped imagining, when the pain in her heart was too much to bear. She had turned off all her machines, all her computers and all her lights. She laid alone in the dark, and hugged his picture close to her chest, lifting it up periodically, only to kiss it.

"I'm gonna miss you so much…" she placed it tight against her as she curled on her side. "And no its not weird that I'm talking to your picture…we both know Ducky is talking to you upstairs anyhow…just wish you were really here…I so wish you were really here…"

Gibbs found her the next morning, and didn't want to wake her. Perhaps some things are just better left in the dark.


	13. Ziva For Tony

Ziva David was alone in the squad room tonight, filling out imaginary reports until she was finally alone. She switched off her desk light and couldn't help but notice Tony's was the only one still on. She paced behind his desk slowly and took his seat. Her mind couldn't help but flood with memories of him. His stupid innuendos, his tangible whit and that smile.

"I'm gonna miss that smile…"

She fought back tears as she cleared off the top of his desk of late reports and went to retrieve a box for his belongings. She sifted through his desk to find: dirty magazines, old candy wrappers and came across a small jewelry box, one only fitted for a ring. She set it aside until she was through and contemplated whether or not to open it. When she finally did, her eyes glistened and its beauty momentarily took her breath away.

She then lifted the box, keeping for herself a lone letter opener. When she reached the elevator, she realized she'd forgotten one last thing…As she switched off his light; it was almost as if the pain of losing him flooded her heart right then and she fought to keep herself together. She managed to leave the office with no one noticing her tears, and reached his apartment soon after. She keyed in and set the box near the door before making her way to the couch.

Tony had made a new years resolution to watch one movie a week with her in order to broaden her American experience, and tonight was their night. She put in the movie that was clearly labeled and sat down slowly. He'd been bragging all week about how good it was going to be, and though she never admitted it, she looked forward to those nights more than anything. When the movie finished, she put on another, and another and another. Without him there, she'd have a lot of catching up to do…but no matter how many comedies she watched that night, her tears never stopped…


	14. Jen For Tony

Jenny had stayed substantially longer than most nights. But tonight wasn't just any other night. Today she'd lost an Agent. She assumed she'd be the only one left in the office, but much to her surprise she wasn't.

"Finishing up some paper work Agent Gibbs?"

He only looked up at her for a moment and simply nodded. She stood over his desk for a few minutes and all that passed between them was silence. Gibbs quickly became irritated.

"Can I do something for you Director?"

"I was going to ask, if I could do something for you actually…"

Gibbs shook his head, and once again said nothing.

"Late dinner?"

Gibbs tried to ignore her request and continued to sign his paper work. "Not hungry."

"Drinks?"

"Not thirsty."

"Sleep?"

"Not tired."

"You shouldn't be a lone…not tonight."

"Trust me, I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

She stared at him for a few moments, before setting her stuff down and bringing over another chair. She rolled it up a fair distance from him and started to go through some of her own paper work. No words were spoken between them for hours. No matter what Gibbs said, Jenny wasn't going to let him be alone. Not tonight.


	15. Gibbs For McGee

Jethro Gibbs slipped into the elevator after leaving another one of his fallen agent's autopsies. Kate's had been more solemn, and filled with regret. McGee's was purely and simply, sad. Gibbs shuffled his feet as the elevator ascended, then quickly switched off the power. He stood there with his head hanging low and watched his shadow casting from the dim lights. What now? This time there was no vendetta, no revenge, and no retribution to be gotten. His frustration caused his fist to clench and it wasn't long after he slammed it into the steel wall beside him.

After breathing hard for a few moments, and allowing his eyes to well up with tears, he used his left hand to switch on the power and waited as the elevator started to descend. He entered the familiar autopsy room and looked his friend in the eyes.

"I think I just broke my hand…"

Ducky examined it slowly. "Looks like you'll be spending tonight in the ER…come now…" He motioned for his friend to leave and entered the cold elevator beside him. He couldn't help but notice the small dent that he swore wasn't there five minutes ago. "I see you tried to redecorate your office a bit?"

Gibbs nodded; his eyes still welled up with tears. He didn't know what hurt more, his hand or his heart. Ducky turned to face him. "Why Jethro?"

"Needed a distraction."

"From what?"

Gibbs took in a deep breath. "The pain."


	16. Tony For McGee

Tony was pretending to keep himself busy as he kept an eye on his boss. It had only been a few hours since they'd heard and as far as Tony was concerned it had only been a few minutes. He had refused to go home when Gibbs ordered them to, and figured if he stayed out of his way he'd be home free. But he was wrong.

"Stop hovering DiNozzo…" Gibbs hollered towards him without looking up from his desk.

"What boss?"

"Quit hovering…go home. Get some sleep."

"Don't think I'll be sleeping much…"

"Then go watch a movie or something…anything but here."

Tony got up slowly and though he was hesitant at first, he couldn't help but ask. "Why?"

Gibbs peered up at him and admired that he'd had the guts to ask. "I can't think with you here."

Tony nodded, partly understanding, partly not. "Whatever you say boss. I understand."

Gibbs watched as Tony grabbed his things and walked solemnly towards the elevator. "Hey!"

He turned back. "Yea boss?"

"Why'd you say you understood when you didn't?"

Tony shrugged. "Just figured you want to deal with this in your own way, and I wasn't about to question it."

He nodded. "You've gotten pretty sharp over the years DiNozzo…"

"I learned from the best." Tony nonchalantly patted his boss on the shoulder. "Well…night boss." He turned to leave and it wasn't more than a few seconds before Gibbs called him back.

"I'm gonna pack up his things…find me a box."

Tony tried to hide his smile and set his things down. "On it boss…"

Going through his things was solemn and filled with regret. And neither of them said a word. Tony left later that night, this time against his boss's wishes. He needed to deal with this in his own way and found himself at McGee's apartment. He keyed in and decided to pick up where his boss left off. He brought in a few boxes and slowly began to pack away his friends belongings. And somehow it helped him heal…


	17. Abby For McGee

Abby sat alone in the corner of the coffee shop that her and Tim had shared their first date. Sure she didn't quite feel as strongly as McGee had, but all in all, she had a type of love for him, even if it wasn't everything Tim had hoped it would be. A few people had approached her to ask if she was alright, but she politely refused any attempt to console. Right now, all she wanted to do was imagine Tim sitting across from her as she sipped her…now cold… cappuccino. She closed her eyes a few times and imagined him sitting there, being nervous and awkward and wanting everything to be perfect. He remembered how he'd asked how her drink was at least four times and kept checking to see how much was left so he could order her a new one as soon as possible. She would sometimes laugh out loud to her self as she remembered how he fumbled over his speech and gave his best impression of a fourteen year old on their first date.

When she finished her cup, she ordered another and another. It was hours before she was forced to leave at closing…and it was then she went to where the first date had ended, closed the coffin shut and drifted off to sleep…silently wishing he would visit her in her dreams and they could revisit their first date _together_.


	18. Ziva For McGee

Ziva wasn't sure how to react to the news so decided to feel out what the rest of the team was feeling. She always had a hard time exuding emotions, but this time it was even harder. Tim was a good man, a good agent, a good friend, but she hadn't been as close to him as the rest of them had. Perhaps, she would spend tonight like any other night….but then again, maybe not.

She watched as Tony attempted to stay busy and tried to hide his concern for Gibbs. She watched as Gibbs remained stoic and showed little emotion. That was until he'd come back from telling Abby. His expression had changed and she thought a consoling visit was in order. She entered Abby's lab to find her staring at a picture of her and McGee up on the plasma and approached slowly. "I am sorry Abby…I know you loved him very much."

Abby turned to look at her for a few moments but said nothing. After Ziva saw the pain in her eyes, she suddenly realized why Gibbs reaction had changed. "Do you need anything?"

Again, all she did was shake her head. "I can stay here with you, if you'd like?"

A few minutes passed before she got a response. "I'd like that."

And so it was; a night that Ziva David imagined would be filled with a romantic comedy and a tub of ice-cream…turned into a night of shared tears, memories and silence. She examined Abby's emotions and it taught her something new about feelings, love and regret.


	19. Ducky For McGee

Donald Mallard found himself at the door that was always open; on the night they'd lost one of their own. He had tried to go home and get some rest but that mission had failed. He had tried to take a long walk, but again it proved trivial. He had tried to visit Abigail, but couldn't bring himself to do it alone.

"Jethro?"

Gibbs set down his coffee cup and without looking replied. "Come in Duck."

He found his friend sitting quietly in the living room and set a side his coat before taking a seat beside him. "How are you?"

It was a simple question, but held an answer Gibbs wasn't ready to give. "Fine."

"I can think of someone who isn't…"

Gibbs lifted up his cup and motioned towards the liquor bottle. "Wanna swig?"

Ducky put his hand up. "No thank you…it never seems to help _me _erase the day."

Gibbs nodded. "I'll drink to that."

"Like I mentioned, I can think of someone who _isn't_ fine…"

He nodded again. "Let me guess…Abby?"

"Quite."

"I just got off the phone with her…she's fine."

"I highly doubt that."

"Yeah? Well then call her yourself." He finished off his drink and poured him some more. "There's nothing I can do for her Duck…she loved him…he's gone. It's gonna hurt for a while…but she'll make it."

"Like you made it?"

"They were my family…it was different."

"Timothy was the closest thing to family she had, not including you of course…"

"Then why are you here? And not with her?"

"Because Jethro…as close as I may be to her…_you _are the only one who could ever calm the poor girl down. She needs you…like a child needs a Father…"

"I'm in no shape to see her Duck…cant you see what just _talking_ to her has done to me…" he motioned towards the bottle. "As if its not bad enough that I lost an Agent…I gotta witness another part of my team fall apart? Not gonna happen Duck."

It was then Ducky stood up. "Then I will give it my best shot…if you change your mind, perhaps you'll join me."

As he turned the knob to leave, he found Gibbs following close behind. "Sometimes you can be a real pain the butt, you know that?"

"So I've been told Jethro…so I've been told."

And so Donald Mallard spent the night with two friends…no… two members of his family. And the three helped console each other in a loss that would affect them all for a long time to come.


	20. Gibbs For Abby

Anthony DiNozzo, Ziva David, Timothy McGee and Donald Mallard were all confined to the bull pen on the night they lost her. No one was even allowed to use the restroom without permission, let alone bend over to pick something up; in fear they'd be out of Gibbs field of vision for more than a second. Each of then were planning out how they would spend the night as they awaited their release; but gave up on the idea of going home after the four hour mark.

Ducky stood up and all eyes immediately fell upon him. "Really Jethro, you cannot keep us here all night."

"Watch me."

"We must go home eventually…"

"Not tonight…"

"We are tired, we are beaten down…we need to grieve tonight Jethro, as do you."

Gibbs stared at the four of them. "I don't grieve."

"Well, we do." He motioned for the three of them to follow suit. "Come now, time to go home."

Gibbs then stood up and an expression covered his face that neither of them had seen before. But it was one that caused each of them to sit back down in their seats.

"Then again, perhaps one night will not matter."

And so the four of them remained silent, until morning light. It was then they received five times as many phone calls throughout the day…and voluntarily spent the rest of the weeknights sleeping in the bull pen, until Leroy Jethro Gibbs was ready to accept it. He couldn't protect them every minute of every day…and even when he realized it…all of them knew, he'd never fully accept it.


	21. Ducky For Abby

When he heard the news he wasn't quite sure what came next. It took him a full minute to place the phone back on the receiver. He had a sudden urge to see about his friends, to tend to them; to somehow offer words of comfort; but he had none to offer himself. Sometimes there aren't words for tragedies such as this. When a beautiful life is robbed away.

He slid his chair back and his eyes shifted to the bare autopsy tables. His gut wrenched and he shuttered at the thought of her body occupying one of the spaces. He closed his eyes in a vain attempt to make it all go away, but he knew the event was inevitable. Perhaps he'd call and ask for another ME to take the case; after all many of them owed him favors. But no, not for Katelyn's and certainly not for Abigail. His feet were like cement as he paced around the room to prepare for the arrival and part of him wanted to grab his keys and run away…far away. This was one autopsy that he feared would haunt him for years to come.

Gibbs was clear. They needed a lead. They needed it fast. There was no time to mourn, no time to grieve. The show must go on, as it were. And Donald Mallard would not stand in the way of justice. Not today, not ever…When the body arrived; it took all of three seconds before his eyes watered and tears began to stream down his face. No one said a word and left sooner than they normally would have. His knees gave out after a few moments and he let his head fall forward against the table where she lay…and it was there he wept; but not for long. Work had to be done. Justice had to be served. And no one deserved justice more than his dear Abigail.


	22. McGee For Abby

Timothy McGee found himself doubled over in the restroom. And not even Tony's incessant pounding on the stall could get him out.

"Okay Probie…just get it out…I'm not going home. I'll be out there when you're ready."

He kept telling himself that it wasn't true. That she wasn't really gone. Sure, Gibbs had said it, but Gibbs had been wrong before. Who was he kidding? Every time he realized what Gibbs had said was in fact true, he was doubled over again. It wasn't so much that he was physically sick so much as the mental effect it was having on him. The sick feeling in the pit of his stomach was what had brought him racing in there in the first place; but now with nothing left to come up, he felt it was time to go. But just as he got up, he found himself knelt down once more. Only this time he sat in a fetal position and simply wept in to his sleeve. His sleeve had helped dampen the sobbing noises, that he was sure would bring in the Calvary. And right now, that was the last thing he wanted.

As the seconds passed into minutes and minutes into hours; Timothy McGee knew it was only a matter of time before his tear ducts were empty. How much could a person cry he wondered? Can you run out of tears? He made a mental note to ask Ducky when this terrible night was behind him. But until then, he tested out his theory in the empty restroom; home only to the sound of his heaving sobs and occasional whimpers. He stopped only to catch his breath, and it was in those rare moments that he envisioned her arms around him…until his body slowly shut down and forced him to close his eyes. And it was then he dreamt of her...


	23. Tony For Abby

Tony had received bad news from Gibbs before; cases that had come to a dead end, suspects that had gotten off on technicalities, a whole number of things. But nothing like this. Not Abby. He almost wished he was there to see it; so he could make it tangible…_almost_. He had seen Kate shot, saw her fall; felt the blood on his face. Nothing was more real to him than that moment. But Abby? Not Abby.

He slipped into his apartment after making the necessary phone calls. He'd called McGee, no answer. Ziva, no answer. Ducky, no answer. Gibbs, twice, no answer. He closed his phone in defeat and threw his bag half way across the living room. He was a cacophony of emotions. Anger, sadness, regret. The only question now, was what he would do with those emotions. Would he drown himself in a bottle of liquor for the momentary peace it would offer? Would he sit in silence on his living room floor and fight back the sobs that wanted so desperately to come out? No, he'll do what he always did…With his Father it had been, "Citizen Kane," with his Mother, "Gone with the Wind," with Kate, "A Few Good Men," and for Abby, "The Count of Monte Cristo."

He slipped it into the DVD player and found himself doing all three of the things he'd imagined he would be. Drowning himself in a bottle of liquor, fighting back relentless sobs and watching the first movie the two of them had shared together…but never would again.


	24. Ziva For Abby

AN: Sorry for the long delay in updates. I started a few new stories, but I havent forgotten. Next chapters will be in honor of the Director...Thank you for your patience and Enjoy.

--

Ziva took the liberty of packing up Abby's lab while the others grieved in their own ways. She knew the hardest part for all of them would be to see her replaced. And remembered the grief she watched unfold as she herself took Kate's place. She allowed her mind to hone in on the life Abby exhibited; her ability to express emotions so clearly. A trait Ziva David almost envied. As she placed the miscellaneous items into the boxes; anger welled up inside her. Anger that another innocent life was robbed away from those she loved. Something she experienced far too often. She found herself tossing the items into the boxes with more force, until she collapsed onto the floor in tears. She remembered Abby's kindness, devotion and passion and grieved for them. Grieved for the traits she would no longer see. Her uniquness, her loving ways and her charisma. Her strength, perseverance and most of all her loyalty. After what seemed like hours, she looked up to see the members of the team arrive one by one…then they all remembered…together.


	25. Gibbs For Jenny

He was tired. Sick and Tired. Tired of losing. Couldn't he win? Just once? He considered himself a seasoned griever… one who knew how to handle the loss; no matter who it was or no matter how it happened. But this time was different. This time it was Jenny.

The first woman who reminded him what it was to really love again. Circumstances had driven them apart; then brought them back together. Now circumstances have driven them apart for good. But this time there would be no reunion. No second chance.

The first night he lost her he had it all figured out. A bottle of jack. A dark lonely basement. And his boat. But this wasn't just any grieving session…this time was different. This time it was Jenny.

He spent hours removing _Kelly_ and preparing her to set sail. At first light he set out onto the waters; with no destination in particular. The water was as calm as it could be and the breeze was gentle. His emotions were the only thing tossing and turning as the boat drifted. Anger. Regret. Pain. Three emotions that were all too familiar to Leroy Jethro Gibbs. As the wind started to pick up; his tears began to dry on his face. He watched storm clouds begin to brew and normally would have aimed his direction towards the shore. But this time was different. This time it was…

Jenny.


	26. Tony For Jenny

Anthony DiNozzo was determined not to be alone tonight. He found himself hopping from bar to bar as the hours ticked away. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't found anyone worthy of spending the night with. As 'last call' rang out at his final destination he realized his determination had failed him once again. He stumbled out of the bar and hailed down a taxi. When he arrived at his apartment he was almost scared to go in. Into the same empty kitchen. Into the same empty bathroom. Into the same empty bedroom. His heart ached for some kind of comfort. Any kind of comfort. He fumbled around for his phone and dialed slowly…

"Boss?"

"It's 3 am DiNozzo..."

"Just calling to say I love ya boss…"

Gibbs picked upon the slurred speech. "You're drunk…go to bed."

"Cant do that…"

"Why not?"

"I'm alone…you know…Jenny was alone boss. She died alone…A-L-O-N-E…rhymes with T-O-N-Y."

Gibbs took in a deep breath. "DiNozzo…"

"No, no…I know what you're gonna say…just do a couple more shots. You'll pass out and tomorrow's a new day…well I'm tired of that life boss…want something more…"

"Then wake up tomorrow and find it…but right now…get some sleep."

Tony nodded. "On it boss." He closed the phone and dialed again. "Ziva…"

"Tony it is 3 am!"

"You know, that's exactly what Gibbs said…weird…"

She also picked up on his manner of speech. "You have been drinking yes?"

He pinched his fingers together. "A little…"

"Hang up and go to bed."

"Boy you and the boss aren't much for talking tonight huh?"

"It has been a long day…for all of us."

Tony agreed. "Sure has…I let the Director of NCIS get killed…how was your day?"

"Tony…she made her own choices. She is gone. We must move on, regret will do nothing."

He was now lying on the floor with the phone on speaker beside him. "You know something David? You're right…you always are…you wanted to tail her. We didn't. She's dead. Remind me to never doubt you again…"

"You're rambling Tony…"

"I am?"

"You are…now listen to me."

"Like I should've before."

"Well listen now…close your eyes and go to sleep."

Tony practiced her instructions. "Not working."

"Try harder."

He did but still nothing. "Can I tell you something personal?"

"Tony…"

"Thanks…" he was fumbling through his speech but didn't seem to mind. "You're gorgeous…no seriously. Beautiful. I never told you that, not sure why…and you're one heck of a kisser…one of the best I've had the pleasure of enjoying…that said…"

"Anthony DiNozzo…go to bed!"

"Come on, I'm trying to be sensitive here…let me have this little moment… I want to tell you things just in case we never get the chance to…you know like Jenny never said to the boss…"

"We were not lovers Tony."

"No but we are partners…and I just want you to know…that I loved you Kate…"

Ziva swallowed hard. "This is Ziva…"

"Yeah…love her too."

She swung her legs out of bed and switched on the light. "Tony, I am coming over…you do not grieve well…"

He agreed. "Right again Kate."

"I'll be over in ten minutes."

He had to smile as he closed the phone and opened it once more.

"Hey Probie…"

"Tony it's…"

"3 am…yeah so I've been told…what ya doing?"

"Sleeping…"

"Oh that's nice… just calling to say I love you man."

McGee squinted as he turned on the light beside his bed. "You okay Tony?"

He shook his head then realized McGee couldn't see him. "Haven't decided yet Probie…Ziva's coming over to find out. Then I'll give you an answer…"

Tim stood up and reached for some clothes. "Yeah, I'll come see for myself…be there in ten."

Tony shrugged and closed the phone a third time. Something telling him he had one more call to make.

"Abby…"

"Hey Tony…can't sleep?"

"You know you're the first person who didn't tell me what time it was…"

"Probably cuz I cant sleep either."

"Wanna come over…we're having a party…"

She picked up on his drunkenness and sighed. "Who is?"

"Me…myself…and I…"

She reached for her coat. "Be there in ten…"

Tony suddenly realized that everyone must've lived ten minutes from him and waited patiently on the hallway floor for their arrivals. When they did, he became confused as he counted the occupants one by one.

"One, two, three, four, five." He pointed and slurred through his response as two of them helped him stand and carried him into his bed room. Gibbs took to slipping off his shoes while Abby prepared the covers and pillow for his arrival. The five stood at the doorway of his bedroom solemnly.

"I take it he called all of you too?" Gibbs responded as they moved into the living room and sat down.

The three of them nodded as they sat down. "Before Jethro phoned, I had a feeling something was a miss; perhaps your gut feelings are rubbing off?"

Gibbs tried to smile. "Blessing and a curse Duck."

Ziva then chimed in. "He called me Kate…"

The rest of them exchanged glances, then settled on Gibbs expression in search of guidance. "You all can go home…get some sleep. I'll be here when he wakes up to pick up the pieces."

But neither of them stood up. They all remained till morning light…

Tony entered his living room that morning to find Abby asleep on Gibbs shoulder, Ziva using Ducky's lap as a pillow and McGee passed out on the floor. He rubbed his temples and managed a smile. Guess he was never alone, after all.


	27. McGee For Jenny

Timothy McGee found himself in familiar territory. He had mustered up the nerve to travel down to autopsy in search of some closure. When he slipped out her slab he hesitated once again before pulling the sheet off and revealing her face. As he stared down at her, he let a few tears fall.

"I really liked you Director…" he swallowed hard. "I'm really sorry this happened. I wish I could've done something to help." He unconsciously shook his head as if denying the event was taking place. "Rest easy. We'll take care of things here." He placed the sheet back over her and slowly shut the door. He leaned his back along the wall and slid down onto the floor; his mind pondering once again with thoughts of life after death…


	28. Abby For Jenny

Abby Scuito was tossing and turning for hours before giving up on sleep all together. She too was allowing reminiscent feelings of Kate rise up in her and did just about everything she could think of to stop them. Nothing worked. But instinctively she knew one thing that would.

She arrived at the house where the door was always open and found him lying alone on the living room couch. She sat quietly beside him and gently stroked his hair. "Hey Gibbs."

He opened his eyes for a moment before closing them again. "You okay Abs?"

"No. Cant sleep."

He adjusted himself to let his head lay on her lap. "Do Bourbon and Caf Pow constitute a mixed drink?"

She managed a smile and let one arm lay on his chest. "You okay?"

He gently nodded. "Peachy." He felt her slide down the couch a bit. "Want me to set up the guest room?"

She shook her head and snuggled in closer before closing her eyes. "No, I'm okay right here." Her voice sounded so sad and Gibbs wished he could do more. But little did he know; he was doing everything his surrogate daughter needed to help her grieve.


	29. Ziva For Jenny

Ziva David spent the first night without her in a dark room alone; with a barrage of questions and doubts running through her mind. What if this? What if that? After a while she feared complete insanity. If her thoughts had been physical; they would've beaten her senseless. She was trained her entire life to do what she was told. Never to question. Then Jethro Gibbs became a part of her life. A man who followed his gut and tried to teach her to do the same. And when it came to saving a woman she'd saved once before; she was conflicted and made the choice too late. And so this dark room was her prison; her consequence for failing a mission. She'd sat in this room after Ari and countless other times before that. A place where her thoughts attacked her and allowed her to be served the punishment; that in her own eyes, she rightly deserved. She never slept in this room; but she did cry…and yell…and grieve. This was her dark room. Her escape. Her prison without bars. This…was where Ziva David remembered Jenny…


	30. Ducky For Jenny

Donald Mallard considered himself well versed in the art of grieving. Though he hadn't lost a child; nor a wife as Jethro had, he'd partaken in his fair share of untimely deaths and 'why' questions left without answers. He'd seen soldiers die for other soldiers; mothers lose their lives for their children; children lose their lives as a simple matter of wrong place wrong time. But Jenny Sheppard had puzzled him. And in a way encouraged him to believe that valor; honor and dying with dignity aren't as archaic of concepts as he once thought.

As he gathered up her medical paper work and turned on the shredder he let his mind run through memories from the past. The laughs, the scares and the all out adventures of their pursuits. With each sheet he let a lone tear fall; and watched his last memories of her become tiny shreds of useless paper…


	31. McGee For Ziva

When Timothy McGee signed up be an NCIS Special Agent, he didn't think he'd need a class in grief management. He was pretty sure he had himself pegged; and knew what would get him through nights like this. But tonight; he was stuck. He couldn't write; couldn't curl up on the couch with a tub of ice-cream or even drown himself in a computer game. Tonight, he was angry. An emotion he rarely had; but when he did everyone knew it. He had managed to get out of the office, without drawing attention; but now he just hopped he'd get through the night without breaking something. His fists were clenched and his mind wouldn't stop replaying the scene in his head. At the sight of her body lying there; the anger continued to rise up. After pacing in his apartment, he suddenly became afraid and reached for his phone.

"Boss. It's me, McGee."

"It's three in the morning..."

"I know…it's just…I'm well…I left the office today and I can't…well…"

"You can't get it out of your head?"

"Yeah."

"That's gonna take some time kid."

"I know…and usually I can do it, but this time…this time we could've saved her boss, and I'm so…so…"

"Pissed off?''

"I was gonna say angry, perturbed, maybe even irate…but pissed off will work."

"And you called me for a magical anecdote?"

McGee shrugged. "To tell you the truth...I'm not really sure why I called boss."

"The same reason, Abby is asleep on my couch and DiNozzo on the living room floor…"

"They were angry too?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah something like that…"

"Are you?" He almost smacked himself. "Sorry boss, stupid question."

"Look, I would bust my fist into every wall in my house if I thought it would bring her back…or help. But it won't."

"So what do you do?"

"I stay pissed, till the next bastard comes along…and I catch him. Then after him, the next one…but how you deal with it, is up to you."

Tim started to understand. "Well I was wondering, until I figure that out if I could…I don't know…maybe…"

"Doors open…you wake up Abby and I'll kill ya…"


	32. Abby For Ziva

Abby Scuito was pacing back and forth in her lab quietly as she awaited Gibbs arrival. He'd be coming to see her soon; he had to be. He always knew what to do, always knew what to say, always knew how to help her cry. Then suddenly realized Gibbs may not always be there. As the fear started to race through her she curled up into a corner; her trusty hippo at her side. She held him tight as she suffered through every feeling of regret, sadness and anger that came her way. And she did it alone. She was aware once again; of how fragile and uncertain life can be and finally found herself confronting it face to face. She expended tissue after tissue until the doors slid open and in he came…He found her sitting alone and reached out for her hand. Only she didn't take it.

"I'm here Abs…"

"No Gibbs, go…I need to do this alone."

"Do what?"

"Grieve for her."

He knelt down and watched as she averted her eyes. "You don't have to do it alone…"

"But I do…cuz Gibbs, let's face it…tomorrow you could die too…just like her…just like Kate…just like that you're gone…then what?"

"I'm not going any where Abby."

"Yeah? I'm sure Ziva didn't think this would be her last day alive either…you can't know that Gibbs…and tonight, tonight I need to do this alone. I need to know I can."

He let his hand rest on her cheek for a few seconds and looked at her tear filled eyes. "I won't be far."

"But one day you will be…"

He wiped a tear from her cheek and sighed. "You can't think like that Abs."

"Maybe if I did, I would've told her how much I cared you know?"

"Abs…"

"Please just go Gibbs…I need to do this."

He was reluctant; but did as she asked. "Okay."

As he stood up, Abby reached out for his hand and stopped him. "You know I love you right?"

He smiled and tried to reassure her. "I know Abs. And she knew too."

"You think so?"

"I know so." He released her hand and started towards the door; but not before looking back a few times; hoping she would call him back; only she never did…


	33. Gibbs For Ziva

Gibbs was sick and tired. Sick and tired of the grieving. Sick and tired of the missed goodbyes. Sick and tired of the pain. No, this time, this time he'd had enough. He strode into the church doors and pacedtowards the candles; now not only lighting three candles, but four. After doing so he approached the altar and ignored the clergy watching him closely. He peered at the Crucifix for what seemed like hours before pointing towards it in anger.

"Is this some kind of joke? What is it about me that makes me so special huh? Sure, take my wife and kid…that's rich. Then Kate? What she do that was so wrong? And, Ziva? Am I in the wrong line of work or do I piss you off that much?" He took a couple steps onto the altar as the clergy began to make their way towards him. "I haven't saved enough lives? Haven't put enough evil bastards away?" He threw his hands up as if at a loss for words. "Yeah you're mysterious alright. And it's times like this that you really piss me off you know that?" He turned around to see a scarce group had formed to observe him.

"Can we help you sir?"

Gibbs slowly shook his head. "No one can." He looked back up at the Cross. "I used to think He could, but now; now I'm not so sure." He turned back and was now inches from it, looking upward. "Thanks for nothing." He waved and started back towards the doors, then took one final glance down the isle, and stared.

"When my time comes…you better be ready for one hell of an entrance…"


	34. Tony For Ziva

One.

Two.

Three.

He downed each shot of liquor faster than he ever remembered doing so in the past. And he'd done his fair share of drinking throughout the years; and fancied himself something of a connoisseur. But tonight it didn't matter if he couldn't see straight; the price of the liquor; or whether the room was spinning, all that mattered was that series of three shots.

One.

Two.

Three.

He remembered the almost rhythmic sight of her body contorting as each shot tore through her and poured himself another round. Sometimes he tilted his head back and closed his eyes as the burning sensation offered a momentary distraction. All he wanted to do was forget…just for a little while. And he'd become accustomed to this remedy along the years. For Kate, it had been one shot at a time. With Paula, just the bottle. With Jeanne, he sipped his way into the land of lost memories…but for Ziva it was…

One.

Two.

Three.

He cleared his throat and felt the urge to relieve the liquid contents of his stomach onto the floor. But instead he reached for his phone, and managed to hold down the number 2 long enough to dial her number…

"_Hello, you've reached Ziva David, please leave a message and I'll get back to you at my latest convenience…" _

A smile forced its way on his face as he listened to the last English mistake he'd ever hear her make. He had wanted to tell her multiple times about the little mistake, but couldn't bring himself to do it. It was just too funny. But now, nothing was funny anymore. She was gone and there would be no more casual flirting; no butchered euphemisms; no tussling of her hair. No, all that was left for him now was…

One.

Two.

Three.

He laid the phone beside him on speaker and slowly closed his eyes; drifting off into that place of escape; for one night anyhow...


	35. Ducky For Ziva

Ducky poured himself a drink and eased himself down into his chair; surrounded by silence. The silence had never bothered him until tonight. Tonight she was coming over for dinner; tonight she was going to tantalize him and his mother with stories of her escapades; tonight she and him would compare scars. But someone had robbed him of his evening guest; and for that he was angry. But he was left with nothing to do but sit in silence. He sipped his drink and reviewed the familiar folder sitting in front of him. He held the pen firmly in his hand as he fumed over the un-fairness of that day's events. He read and re-read its contents and slowly placed the pen's point on the dotted line. There they were. His resignation papers. Staring up at him; just as they had so many times before. And this time; the silence seemed even more deafening than usual. As he started to move the pen he was stopped by a single voice…

"_The Ducky I know would not give up…"_

He paced over to the voice's origin and slipped the sheet off from her face. "I'm afraid enough is enough my dear…my heart cannot take much more of this…"

"_It is your duty yes?"_

"It is."

"_Then you have your answer…you cannot stop fighting, just because the other side seems like its winning. You must stay on course, good will win in the end. You must believe that." _

He closed his eyes and opened them with a tear streaming down his face. It was then she had nothing more to say. At this, he paced over to the folder and filed it away one more time. He poured himself another glass and sat down in silence once more…until it was broken only by the sounds of his cries…


	36. Gibbs For Ducky

When he reached the autopsy floor he wasn't sure if he'd be able to take another step. The elevator doors opened and closed three times before he finally did. He paced inside and with a nod of his head Palmer left without hesitation. The black bag hadn't been opened yet and Gibbs was not looking forward to doing the honors. Gibbs had been given a copy of his friends will only two years ago. And hoped he wouldn't have had to execute it for many years to come. He was wrong.

As he reached to unzip the bag his mind did an instant replay of Jen. One he never got the nerve to open. He had in a way, failed her; but not Ducky, not his best friend. He unzipped it slowly at first; then quickened it as if tearing off a bandage. He moved aside the bag to reveal his friends face, and his lip quivered.

Letting out a deep sigh; he placed a shaky hand on Ducky's face. He shook his head in disbelief before leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead. "Goodbye Duck." He stared at his body for a few moments when a small smirk appeared on his lips. "Any chance you'll talk back?" He cleared his throat and contemplated closing the bag back up.

"I know you can't hear me; but that never stopped you did it? I remember when we first met, you appeared at the scene ten minutes late after getting lost…but weren't bothered a bit by what you were about to see. You knelt beside the body as if they were still alive. That was the first time I heard you talk to them…and Tony kept getting confused about when you talking to the body or him…" He let out a short laugh. "Ah listen to me, I'm beginning to sound like you…not that that's a bad thing. As annoyed as I may have seemed at times; I really enjoyed your little rants; and I will miss them…and I'll miss you."

He started to zip it closed as a tear finally pushed its way through. He wasn't able to wipe it away before it fell slowly onto the silver table. He had spent so much time in that place over the years; and never once shed a tear. He realized right then how much his friend truly meant to him. And it was then he cried enough tears to make up for all the times he should have…for Kate, for Jen, and for him….


	37. Tony For Ducky

After getting the news from McGee; Tony knew Abby was in good hands. He also knew Gibbs wouldn't be much for talking; at least not yet. And had a feeling Ziva would handle things the way she always did; by not handling them. So he headed to a place; he knew his friend would appreciate.

He entered the Mallard residence; and it wasn't long before the ache in his heart was strained.

"Donald?!" His mother hollered through the house and slowly but surely came walking into the hall. "Donald?" She squinted her eyes at Tony. "Who are you? And what are you doing in my house?!"

Tony put his hands out to reassure her. "I'm Anthony DiNozzo ma'am…I work-ed with your son Donald."

She looked behind him. "Where is he? He never comes home this late. I've barely had dinner and…" She suddenly became afraid. "What have you done with him? Have you kidnapped him?"

He immediately shook his head. "No ma'am. I'm his friend."

"Well then, where is he?"

He motioned that she sit down but she refused. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this; but your son died today."

She looked at him confused. "Died?" She stepped back. "Did you kill him?"

"No ma'am…he was killed in a car crash on his way into work. It wasn't his fault."

She looked as though she was about to cry when she turned towards the living room. "Please have a seat would you?"

Tony obliged and watched her demeanor carefully. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Loss? I'm afraid I haven't lost anything today young man. But my Donald is always accusing me of moving things. Have you lost something? If so, I'm sure Donald will be able to help you find it when he gets home." She moved towards the kitchen. "Can I get you anything while you wait?"

Tony slowly shook his head. "No ma'am. I'm fine." After watching her leave he stepped into the kitchen. "I uh, I fancy myself quite the chef…would you mind if I made you some dinner?"

She shook her head. "Certainly not. My son usually has something prepared; but he is no doubt off fighting crime again."

Tony agreed and within a short time had prepared the both of them a nice meal and sat with her at the dinner table. "I can't imagine what is keeping him. He usually phones if he'll be late."

Tony was at a loss for words and simply gestured for her to try the food. "Do you like it?"

She took a bite and smiled. "Oh yes, what is it?"

"Tuna casserole." He tried to smile. "Our cook used to make it all the time when I was a kid. One of my favorites."

"I remember when my Donald was a young chap; he was such a picky eater. All that boy would eat was grilled cheese and watermelon." She managed a laugh.

"I'd love to hear more about his childhood ma'am…that is if you don't mind."

"Mind? My goodness; the only company I get around here is the mail man…" She sipped her water before beginning with a series of stories. Tony simply smiled as the minutes turned into hours and the casserole had started to get cold. He cleaned up their dishes and it wasn't long before they'd made their way into the living room for tea and more stories. Tony couldn't recall what time it was when she started to dose off; but decided on spending the night himself. Little did he know; that wouldn't be the last time…


	38. Abby For Ducky

"Don't say that Tim…No…" Abby shook her head in disbelief when she got the news. "Don't you tell me that…where's Gibbs? I need Gibbs…where's Gibbs?"

Tim placed a hand on her should in an attempt to calm her; but she moved away. "He's on his way here…he's with his body…"

She plugged her ears. "Lalalalalala, I can't hear you." She stepped into her back office and turned up her music. "I can't hear you McGee."

He followed her and slowly turned the music off. "Abby."

"Unless you're gonna tell me that Ducky is alive and well…I don't want to hear it."

He stepped towards her as she attempted to back away; and pulled her into an embrace. "I'm sorry Abs…"

"No, no, no…" She slowly subsided into his arms. "Not true…he can't be…"

"Shhhhh," Tim tried to quiet her as she fought through her grief. "We'll be okay."

She curled into the curve of his neck as she cried; and it wasn't long before she left his arms and raced into Tony's...Ziva's…and finally Gibbs.

"Tell me he's okay Gibbs…please."

"I can't Abs…I can't." He fought the lump forming in his throat as he held her; and motioned for the rest of the team to go. "I need you be strong for me, can you do that?" He leaned away from the embrace and looked into her face.

"Yeah…" She was barely audible as she snuggled back into Gibbs arms.

"I have to take care of some things…you can stay up in the office."

She shook her head. "No, I'm gonna…I'm gonna stay here for a bit…but maybe tonight…"

"I'll be back to get you when I go." He kissed her forehead and turned to leave; but not before sending her a concerned stare.

"I'll be okay Gibbs. Really." She watched him go; then sniffled her way into the back office and traded out a music CD. It was then she danced the night away with an imaginary Ducky to a slow and tender waltz…


	39. Ziva For Ducky

Ziva was at a loss when she heard the news. Her heart quickly started to ache; and she wanted nothing more than to go home; then looked to see Tony and McGee communicate one simple name to each other before standing up. _Abby._ She had an idea of where they were headed; but instead of following out of habit or expectation she sat quietly at her desk contemplating.

She wondered how she'd been so fortunate to find herself in the midst of people who put their own well being aside before that of their friends. Why had she; a trained assassin, someone who was taught to take care of one's needs first; transferred into a world where the well being of the team was more important? She looked up at the proverbial heavenlies and let a tear fight its way onto her face. As she wiped it away she was unsure of why she'd shed it. Sure, he was a colleague…but since when did losing a colleague cause her heart to ache?

She had prided herself on separating losses in the field; as collateral damage; because anything else hurt too damn much. But _this_ place; _this_ team; _these_ people had changed her somehow. And she wondered for some time whether it was for the better…

She knew the answer the moment she stood up and headed to the place; she knew her teammates were offering comfort to someone else…and remembering a fallen _friend_…


	40. Palmer For Ducky

Jimmy Palmer was sure Ducky would be around long enough to see him graduate. See him get his first job. See him perform his first full autopsy. But he was wrong. He hated being wrong. He hated that his mentor wouldn't be there. He hated being sad. He had been there when Gibbs told the team; and watched as the others did their best to console each other; but ducked out before anyone had a chance to acknowledge him. He headed down into autopsy where he'd spent so much time with his teacher and did what he knew Ducky would've wanted him to.

And so he did. He took out the necessary instruments; clothed himself in the necessary garments and prepared for the arrival of a body he never dreamed he would be working on…and it were those images that wouldn't escape him for the rest of his life…


	41. McGee For Ducky

AN: Last chapter of the series everyone. I tried to make it as eloquent as I could; with the themes of change; letting go and remembrance. Three things I hope to of gotten across in this series. Thanks to all who read along with the updates, reviewers and all. Take care & Enjoy.

--

Timothy McGee found his fingers hovering over his type writer for minutes without moving a muscle. The thought of things changing once again at NCIS; was not a comforting thought. But he knew with Gibbs still at the helm; things would be okay. He would be okay. Abby would be okay. The team would be okay. It would just take time.

He tried his best to put his mind somewhere else. Away from the look on Abby's face when she heard the news…away from the pain in his heart…away from the reality of losing someone he cared about. Writing always gave him that escape. Always.

As his fingers continued to hover, he finally typed along with an elegance he hadn't been able to achieve in quite a while. Even with his free writing he wasn't able to create such decisive wording and structure. He let a wry smile fall across his face as he remembered his friend; and hoped one day to be a story teller with the grace and eloquence of one Doctor Donald Mallard.


End file.
